Oh man if only pokemon was real I WOULD BE THE VERY BEST my fucking overlevelled team of 6 dragons eats these pussy-ass NPC youngsters for breakfast, I would be a fucking GODDESS among men, I would tame the fiercest legendaries of every region and scale the ranks of every league and maybe one day when I’m older even settle down somewhere and open my own gym-
Me playing pokemon now:
Dude how amazing would it be to just. .. own a tiny house somewhere near the Kalos flower fields. Have my Poliwrath help me water my crops. I wish I could wake up and comb my alolan Dugtrio’s mane before I start the day…. My Sunfloras may not be that great in battle but look how happy they are, greeting the first morning light…!
Hey is that a young trainer coming this way? His team looks tired, I bet one of my freshly-baked Tropius banana pies could heal ‘em right up… he’ll probably need this TM more than I do, too…
you either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the NPC
*pans out to reveal the first flame fading into cinders in the background and ellen pulls out a huge flaming sword as a piano starts up from somewhere in the crowd*
me, pulling out a parrying shield: omg you d *LOUD PARRYING NOISES*Â
